This week, the Fellowship I serve hired a new part-time Director of Religious Education (DRE).  I am thrilled to pieces.  She and I met yesterday and began to talk about goals for the year and our work relationship, and I think this is going to be great.

This, of course, gets me to thinking about the often-strained relationships between ministers and DREs.  I've seen a lot of people really burned by this relationship going awry.  I am going to try my best not to let this work relationship go there.

I think the problem is getting worse as our Association moves towards more professional recognition of religious educators.  This seems to lend evidence to my hypothesis that a lot of the tension out there is because many ministers feel threatened by having a co-worker who comes with their own professional credentials.  It's as if recognizing that someone else has expertise that we do not have (or even matches our expertise in some area) somehow diminishes both the power of our call and the credentials that we hold. 

Other things that point me to that hypothesis include the very delicate nature of multiple-minister staff teams (especially when one is the "Senior" or "Lead" minister, which is most often the case), the often-difficult relationships between ministers and district staff (who are there to help congregations stay healthy even if that means saying goodbye to a minister), and also the nebulous (and often tenuous) relationships between settled ministers and people in their congregations studying for the ministry.  This includes many bad relationships I've seen between ministerial interns and internship supervisors (luckily not mine).

These tensions are, of course, heightened in times of conflict/disagreement, which is why it behooves those of us who are ministers to think about them carefully.

The feeling of being threatened in one's ministry--a ministry that one feels a deep calling to--is a really difficult thing.  I can't say I'm above that, having felt that threat in the past.  I can, however, say that I've learned a lot from those situations about who I am, what I am called to do, and what my special relationship is with the congregation that called me to be their minister.  I've also learned from the examples of mentors and colleagues over the years as I've been in the position of being the one who could be perceived as a threat (for example, as a seminary student in a professional position in a congregation).

I don't think it's an overinflated ego thing to say that I feel pretty secure in my calling to the ministry.  I am not assuming that this particular ministry will last forever (though I like the way it's going thus far).  I'm not assuming that I will be able to navigate any and all conflict.  I'm just confident that I will still be a minister on the other end of the disasters that will, of course, happen.

And in the end, that opens me to hearing what a lot more people have to say without feeling threatened.  It allows me to recognize the education expertise that our new DRE brings us, and the expertise that students for the ministry bring.  In the end, I think that's good, because, at least in this case, I get both a co-worker and a colleague out of it.

in peace,
Michael

Since my dear colleague Peacebang is taking some time off from Beauty Tips in order to concentrate on serious matters, including the very important matters of nationalism/militarism and human rights violations with respect to the Olympics, I suppose it falls to others to comment on the less serious (but very important) issues on the periphery.

Such as: What is up with Bob Costas' toupee?

Yikes, folks.  The veteran NBC sportscaster and incredible Olympic anchor looks like something died on top of his head.  Seriously.  This was the best picture I could find on-line and it doesn't do the bad rug justice. 



I'm sure he would look good bald, but then I love me some bald men.  But if he really needs a toupee, we'd think he could afford one that looks good.

And, Bob, if it's not a toupee, you need a new hairdresser.  Pronto.

Frivolously yours,
Michael

Today was a hard service to do, but it went well.   We arrived this morning to a flooded Fellowship--our drains could not handle yesterday's rain--just to add some extra drama to it all.  As if we needed more.  Sigh. 

Today's Order of Service was a little different than usual.  Given that this was a Lammas service, the opening and closing words were the casting and opening of the sacred circle (I've included them here since I wrote them too; I included the Fellowship's traditional chalice lighting, affirmation and chalice extinguishing words).

I also split up the usual candles of Joys and Sorrows into two--one time for letting go of grief and sadness and one for harvesting abundant joy and love.  After each, we had a meditation, some silence and we sang.  After the homily I offered a Lammas communion of sorts--crackers and fruit preserves, with the wish that the sweetness of the fruit and the abundance of the harvest stay with everyone in the coming year.

I hope this is helpful to others out there who might be struggling still with the events of this week.

.

in peace,
Michael

I'm now thinking of how best to respond on Sunday to the incidents of this past week.  Things have gone from horrible to worse in the past day as more details have come out about the incident.  Right now, I'm feeling pretty overwhelmed; I am no longer able to cry, even.  Following is a copy of the letter I wrote today to the congregation I serve, which might give you some insight into my perspective on the situation.  Your continued thoughts and prayers for the people of Knoxville--at the Tennessee Valley UU Church, at the Westside UU Fellowship, and all throughout the community--are appreciated.

Dear UUFNW Members and Friends-

This Sunday, I had planned a celebration of Lammas, the ancient Northern European feast day that falls on or about July 31.  Lammas is a holiday representing the beginning of the wheat harvest, and thus the beginning of the end of the growing season.  As such, it is a time to note those things you are saying goodbye to in your life and those things you look forward to harvesting.  It is a time to get rid of regrets and preserve things that you would like to hold onto. 

At the same time, I am aware that many in our community remain shocked by the news from Tennessee this week.  I am one, having just learned that the gunman was, in fact, someone I once knew and worked with. His ex-wife is a friend of a friend.  He and I have had conversations—not always agreeing—about many things.  I, for one, am filled with confused emotions—anger, grief, sadness, fright, and so much more.  I am in shock that someone who once was so kind could perpetrate such an unbelievable act of terror and violence.  I am upset that someone was in so much pain that they lashed out in an unthinkable way.  I am filled with deep sadness for the people of the Knoxville-area UU congregations, for the families who lost loved ones, and for all who are connected to this horrible tragedy.  I am determined to remain a forceful voice for inclusion and tolerance and justice in our society.

I am finding that the two things—the ancient celebration of Lammas and the recent events of this week—fit together well.  Thus, our worship this Sunday will focus on helping us let go of anger, pain and sadness while we preserve the good things in our lives.  On Sunday, we will have an opportunity to express our emotions and reactions to the tragedy in Knoxville.  We will have a time to send our good thoughts, wishes and prayers to our friends, family and colleagues there.  And we will have a chance to claim the good things in our lives, with the hope that we can preserve them despite the horrors wrought in our world. 

I hope to see you on Sunday. 

In peace,
Michael

Amidst the emotional roller-coaster of returning home from SUUSI this week and learning of the horrendous events in Knoxville on Sunday, the following letter was in my mail:


Yesterday, I went down to City Hall and took the Oath of Office. I am now a duly-sworn member of the City of Peekskill Human Relations Commission.  More to come as I learn it.

-m

My heart and prayers are focused tonight on the people of Knoxville, Tennessee, whether Unitarian Universalist or not.

If you haven't heard the news of the past day, yesterday morning a man entered the sanctuary at the Tennessee Valley Unitarian Universalist Church (TVUUC) and began to open fire with a shotgun.  By the time heroic people in the congregation subdued him (at great risk to themselves), he had shot some 9 people.  As of the last news report, 2 were dead and others were critically wounded.  Rest in peace, Greg McKendry and Linda Kraeger, and a speedy recovery to the others.

Today, the Knoxville police reported that the man intentionally chose that church, which has been a beacon of tolerance and inclusivity in that community for many years, dating back to the days when it took courageous stands against segregation and continuing to this day in its welcome to LGBT people in Knoxville and its support of living wage campaigns.  He did this because he hated liberal-thinking and LGBT people and blamed them (us?) for his unemployment.  Whatever the reason, I am shaken to the core to think that someone would intentionally shoot people in the midst of worship--whatever their faith or beliefs.

I've been to TVUUC many times to conduct trainings and for other reasons.  I have a number of friends in that congregation, and am in touch with some.  I pulled over to a rest stop on Interstate 81 yesterday to cry upon receiving a text message from my friend Elandria that she and her parents were safe.  I am reassured that the UU Trauma Response Ministry has already responded, along with area colleagues and the Knoxville Police Department's chaplains, and I am fairly certain that my offer of help (sincere as it was) will be unnecessary.  And still, sitting here thinking about it doesn't seem like enough.

So I will be praying.  Deep, healing prayers for all of the people of Knoxville and beyond.  I invite you to join me (in whatever way is appropriate for you and your theology).

in peace,
Michael

All this week, I am in Radford, VA, at SUUSI, the Southeast Unitarian Universalist Summer Institute, a week-long intergenerational church camp.  It's been a wonderful time catching up with old friends and making new ones.  I led last night's worship, in which I connected this year's theme, "Pilgrimage," to my journeys to Dollywood and the spiritual lessons learned from Dolly Parton (bits were borrowed from several previous sermons related to these topics, but much of it was new).  It was a whole lot of fun.  I might post the sermon at some point.

Tonight's worship featured the Bridging Ceremony, in which we celebrated the transition of 17 year-olds from the teen program to young adulthood.  Given that 8 of my 10 SUUSIs have been spent on the Teen Staff (including 3 as co-director or director of the Teen Program), I bawled my eyes out.  I've also known some of the folks who bridged today since they were 4-year-olds.

I'll be back in full-on posting mode next week when I get home.  In the meantime, enjoy this picture of the sky here tonight.


SUUSI Sky, Radford VA, 7-24-07, mjt

E and I are recently back from an 11-day vacation through Atlantic Canada and Maine, and I'm pondering vacation music. We have a sort-of tradition on our vacations of having a soundtrack of sorts that is tied to the trip. Like all sort-of traditions, it, of course, started completely accidentally when we purchased John Mayer's Heavier Things in Great Falls, Montana, while on vacation.

It's an interesting tradition (real or sort-of), as E and I have fairly divergent tastes in music. He tends towards 70's pop and and 90's dance mixes, while I favor overly-earnest folk-rock and world music. Given the breadth of both of our tastes, though, we find some interesting stuff to listen to on vacations.

Our trip to Hawai'i in 2006 has Jason Mraz's "Life is Wonderful," along with any number of songs from the CDs of Hawai'i music we purchased there. We bought the albums 50 Greatest Hawai'i Albums of All Time, Volumes 1 and 2, while there, which made a lovely soundtrack for sunsets on the beach and volcanic eruptions. Most notable is "Ka Uluwehi O Ke Kai," a Hawai'ian folk song performed, in this instance, by the Hawai'i-based group Hapa.

In 2007, we traveled to Alaska. On the way, I purchased a few CDs in an independent music store in Seattle. I bought Michelle Shocked's Short Sharp Shocked just so we could have the song "Anchorage" to play. I also bought Wilco's Sky Blue Sky, not realizing that this would become our iconic Alaska music. There was something about their alternately haunting and rocking music that made a perfect backdrop to the fjords and glaciers and miles of gorgeous wilderness. Interestingly, Wilco's website says they're playing in Fairbanks and Anchorage this month.

This year, we stumbled upon The Weepies' album Hideaway as the soundtrack to our vacation. We tried a CD of Celtic ceilidh music from Cape Breton, Nova Scotia, but, as nice as it was, we couldn't listen to it over and over again like the Hawai'i music of '06. We were introduced to The Weepies through two of E's friends, who made a mixed-CD for their wedding and gave it out as favors at their rehearsal dinner. On that CD was the song "Painting By Chagall" from their 2006 album Say I Am You. We were hooked. So when I noticed on iTunes that they had a new album out, I bought it, and played it somewhere around the Cape Breton Highlands. It fit just right.

So, dear readers, do you have music that's tied to a specific place--for better or worse? Music that defined a road trip, a vacation, a move across the country?  Please share.

-m

p.s. I leave you with these lyrics from The Weepies' song "All This Beauty:"

Today, to celebrate the first day of summer and the last day of the regular Fellowship year (though we're not taking the summer off, things get pretty casual around here until early September), we celebrated the Flower Festival, a uniquely Unitarian ritual whose meaning has been oddly changed over the years.  Here I am being all Unitarian Fundamentalist again.  It's really very funny.

Tomorrow, I head off to Florida for General Assembly, the annual meeting of our Association of Congregations.  This is my first G.A. not on the staff of our Association, and my first as an ordained minister and delegate.  It should be interesting.  Mostly, I'm there to do anti-racism work with the UU Allies for Racial Equity.  Though I'm taking my computer with me, If I don't get too posty in the next few weeks, I'll be back soon.

In the meantime, enjoy this, my last sermon until August 3.  I thought this one deserved the reading to go with it as well.  Happy summer, y'all!


in peace,
Michael

The title to today's sermon is from the closing hymn the Fellowship I serve sings every week, written by my wonderful colleagues Ruben Piirainen and the Rev. Suzelle Lynch of the Unitarian Universalist Church West in Brookfield, Wisconsin.  The last line of the hymn is "know our love is with you always, as you go, as you go."  I thought it was a fitting line to take for our Bridging Ceremony, celebrating high school seniors who are graduating and entering the world of young adulthood.

When I first planned this service, I had an entirely different message in mind.  And then this week happened.  That, my friends, is life.

And I managed to do an entire service without mentioning it's my birthday.  So there.  I am officially not a young adult anymore!  Sigh.

In any case, enjoy the sermon.

in peace,
Michael

Here is today's sermon.  In it, I explored the beginning of what I'm calling "subway theology."  The trains, folks, not the restaurant.  I hope you enjoy it.

I suppose you can imagine one piece of music I used today.  One of the others, which many in the congregation got a kick out of, was the Kingston Trio's MTA. Many sang along.  It was great.

The reading I used today was my own transcription of an excerpt from a piece Scott Simon did for NPR's Weekend Edition: Saturday in 2000.  Simon's report was based on a ride on the 7 train from Times Square to Flushing.  The entire piece is worth a listen, which you can do at the NPR website.


in peace,
Michael

The following is an email note I just sent to my Assemblywoman, Sandra Galef.  You might recall my not-so-glowing report from my meeting with her during the Empire State Pride Agenda's Equality and Justice Day. 

This week, she voted in favor of the Gender Expression Non-Discrimination Act (GENDA), to give transgender New Yorkers protection from discrimination.  The bill passed the state Assembly on a bipartisan vote (108-34).  It is now on to the Republican-controlled Senate, where it might (like the marriage equality act passed earlier this year) die.  We can only hope this will not be the case.

Thank you, Assemblywoman Galef and your 107 colleagues who voted yes!

Dear Assemblywoman Galef-

My deepest thanks for your recent vote in in support of the Gender Expression Non-Discrimination Act (GENDA).  This is an important piece of legislation that, if passed by the Senate, will go far in protecting the rights of transgender New Yorkers.

It is amazing to me that in this day and age it is still legal to fire people, evict them from housing, and deny them services just because of their gender expression.  I hope that New York will become one more state in the growing list to declare that this is not in keeping with the American values of equality and justice for all.

When I met with you a few weeks ago, you were unsure about your support for this bill, but you promised to consider it carefully.  It gives me great joy to know that you decided to vote in favor of fairness and equality.

I look forward to future interactions with you as your constituent.

in peace,
Rev. Dr. Michael Tino

I just received an email over the Cornell LGBT Alumni network regarding a drive to call and voice our support for Governor Paterson's recent directive instructing NYS agencies to recognize same-sex marriages* performed in other jurisdictions. I called the number, and it is indeed to Governor's office. The person answering the phone was very nice. I said "I'm calling to voice my support for marriage equality and for the Governor's recent directive recognizing same-sex marriages in New York." She said "OK, may I have your zip code." I gave it to her, she thanked me very much. 10 seconds on the phone for a good cause.

Here's the info. Please forward to friends in New York.

NYS Governor David Paterson's office is taking a poll on whether or not people support his recent directive on same-sex marriage (if you don't know it, I am including a brief description at the bottom). It would mean a lot to me and my friends if you called to voice your opinion. It literally takes 15 seconds. If you get a chance, please call and voice your support (see below).

(1) Call 1-518-474-8390 (if you get a voicemail, just call again. first time I called it was a machine and then a person)
(2) Tell them you are calling about the Same Sex Marriage Poll regarding Governor Patterson's recent directive
(3) They will ask if you are in favor or opposed.
(4) They ask for your zip code.
(5) You are done.

It take 10 seconds or less.

Thanks for your support,

Michael

*Please note that I try hard not to refer to these marriages as "gay marriages," because the actual sexual orientations of the people getting married are irrelevant.  Right now I, as a gay person, can marry a lesbian woman.  That would be a gay marriage (well, it would certainly be queer, that's for sure).  I can't, however, marry my partner, simply because he and I are of the same sex (please also note this is not about gender).

This Sunday, I reflected on the notion of integrity. Thanks to those of you who responded to my last post about this--some of your suggestions can be found within.

There were some very interesting reflections from the congregation.  Some are starting to engage in a critique of my relationship- and community-oriented theology, which is interesting, calling me to focus on individuals more.  I'm going to have to figure out how to do that and remain authentic to my own world-view (which is that rampant, narcissistic individualism is toxic both to Unitarian Universalism and to society at large).  Surely, there's a balance to be had there.

Needless to say, I don't think this is the last exploration of this topic I will engage in.

 

in peace,
Michael

Dear Friends-

Here is the sermon that I gave this Sunday, to accompany the reading of Iraq war dead.  I hope you find it a fitting sermon for this somber holiday.  And I hope this war ends soon.

 

in peace,
Michael

As of today, 4081 United States Military personnel have lost their lives in Iraq since the beginning of this senseless war five years ago.  An additional 29,978 have been wounded, and 3 are officially missing in action.

This morning, instead of a reading, I asked our Worship Assistant and her husband to read the names, ages, ranks and hometowns of the last hundred members of our nation's military to die.  Since I printed out the list (on Friday), two more names have been added to the list by the Department of Defense.

I also posted on an easel in our foyer the photos, as printed in the New York Times, of the thousand service members whose deaths brought us over the 4000 mark.  I wish the photos, entitled "Roster of the Dead" were on line.  Four pages of photos.  Very, very tiny photos.

As we celebrate Memorial Day, please take a moment to look at this list, to honor their service to our nation (whatever you think of this or any war).  May they all rest in peace.

I'll get around to posting the sermon at some point this week.

Praying for peace,
Michael

As I sit here in my office planning a vespers service, it occurs to me that for the second day in a row I've forgotten my morning dose of Allegra.  It's not because I don't need them--my stuffed-up sinuses and itchy eyes are the things reminding me of my lack of medication.

And it occurs to me there's metaphor to be found here.  Allergies, after all, are our body's over-reaction to naturally-occurring things.  Our immune systems, when exposed to tree pollen (or wheat gluten or mold spores or whatever) go haywire, producing a cascade of reactions that lead to things like itchy eyes and hives and such.  We take medication to keep it in check--to block the effect of histamine, the allergic reaction's major mediator.

Here, sitting in my office and planning vespers, I wish for such a medication for the other over-reactions of our lives.  Those times when simple, everyday things set us over the edge, weeping or screaming or getting defensive.  You know the things that set you off, I bet.  I surely do know my list.

Today, I visited a Buddhist monastery in nearby Kent, NY.  I was brought there by a member of the congregation I serve.  I am surely going to be taking some meditation classes there, and perhaps a retreat during my summer study leave.  It is a beautiful and spiritual place.

Thinking about that place, I realize that perhaps mindfulness is the medication for the allergic reactions of life.   And maybe, just maybe, I knew that all along.

And with that deep thought, I return to planning vespers...

in peace,
Michael

Happy Mother's Day, y'all. What a hard holiday to sermonize about. I gave it my best. I hope you enjoy.


in peace,
Michael

 

In conjunction with many of the members of the Fellowship I serve, I'm trying to reduce my impact on our planet.

I've long used compact fluorescent bulbs (E and I use them almost exclusively), and we already set our thermostat to 62 in the winter and 78 in the summer.  We also pay very slightly more for electricity from 100% wind power sources.  We use reusable bags at the grocery store.  I'm also very glad to be flying a lot less than I used to, and I drive a Honda Civic that gets 40MPG on the highway.

But there is still WAY too much paper making its way through our house every day.  Given that we're not about to cancel our newspaper subscription, I've decided to focus on junk mail reduction.  Two organizations have been recommended to me:

• The Town of Bedford (where the Fellowship is) recommends 41 Pounds, which charges $41 for five years of junk-mail reduction.  They claim to eliminate credit card offers, insurance offers and all sorts of other junk.  I've signed us up, and will let you know how it goes.
• A Fellowship member recommends Catalog Choice, which is free, but only reduces catalogs (hey, it's a start).  I'm signing us up for that, too. [Note from a bit later: This site also requires that you have the catalogs in front of you, which is a royal pain.]

Reports to follow.

in peace,
Michael

I've decided not to post my sermon from this past Sunday.  It turns out that despite it having been well-received by the congregation, I'm still not happy with it.  I think it was an interesting talk on the issue (the human right to water), but not a sermon.  It had no appreciable spiritual depth to it, no meaningful connection to something greater than we are.  It had none of what Emerson reminded us a good preacher gives the congregation: my "life, passed through the fire of thought."

In short, it's most of what I criticize so often in the sermons of others. (How many times have I said to others "If people want a sociology lecture, they can audit a course at the nearest college?"  Too many.) I'm glad, at least that I could recognize it.

This realization, of course, has many great lessons for me as a minister, some of which I already knew (but perhaps needed to be reminded of, here in May of my first year).  They include:

• Giving 38 sermons a year, I will not always get it right.  That's OK.
• I should preach based on the ongoing conversation between congregation and minister, and not on a topic I think will go with the music (even if there is a very special guest musician).
• Just because something is important doesn't make it sermon-worthy.
• Sermons given in times of low self-care will be crap.
• I should not preach the weekend of our district's Annual Meeting, especially if I'm giving a workshop there.
• To quote Mary-Chapin Carpenter, "Sometimes, you're the windshield.  Sometimes, you're the bug."

And with that, I'll sign off and get to work on this Sunday's sermon, which will be better, for sure.  Thanks for listening,
Michael